Memories and MIlestones

Bad mom confession:  I don't have a videocamera and so have only taken a handful of videos of Lily during her first five months (using my camera).

It makes me sad to think I've missed all these moments, but time has been flying by and honestly I didn't even really think if this until lately, as she has started hitting some exciting milestones.  Finally after weeks of being this close she rolled over back to belly on Dec. 15.  She and I had been to Target, the mall and dinner at Chick-fil-A while Kevin was at his work Christmas party.  When we got home I put her on her playmat while I was putting our purchases away, and she did it like it was nothing!  (In all honesty I probably would have missed getting it on video, even if we had one!).  And then yesterday Lily rolled belly to back.  I know before I blink she will be crawling, then standing, walking, talking and so much more.

So for our Christmas gift to our family Kevin and I made the leap and bought a videocamera!  It is scheduled to arrive today.  I am so excited to have it for Christmas so we can hopefully get some fun video of Lily and her cousin Henry on their first Christmas.  Of course neither of them understands yet about Santa, gifts or the "true meaning" but it will still be fun to have them around, dress them up and get tons of photos and videos.

And so, here's one of the very few videos I have of Miss Lily a few days before Halloween, while we were watching the Cards in the World Series.  So excited to capture so many more moments (just have to remember not to talk too much and ruin the cute memories of her with the sound of my annoying voice!)

Always there

The Christmas time of year always reminds me of how much I miss mom. She LOVED this time of year - decorating, baking, making cards, creating gifts, shopping, eating, and most importantly being together with family. Her absence is felt so much during this time of year, and especially in the planning process. She was so good at organizing everyone's schedules, and making sure we all got together. It is so hard to do this, especially because we travel during the holidays and are pulled in so many directions when we are in St. Louis.

Today I got a little reminder that mom is always with me. Bear with me here....there is a point to this. I have always like this Pooh quote:

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

It was actually my senior quote (mom encouraged me to use it) and is framed in Lily's room. (Here it is pre-frame, with the "and loved more than you know" added in by the artist)

Today when I was browsing online, I actually came across the full version of the quote, which I had never seen until today.

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember... you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.”

Cue the chills and tears! I can't believe I have never seen this. Being hormonal and already missing mom, it of course brought tears to my eyes. She is always with me because of the foundation she gave me. And I certainly feel her presence and love every time I look at Lily.

Yes, I will miss mom every day during this holiday season. But during Lily's first Christmas, I know mom's presence in our life is felt in so many, many ways.

I will remember all of the wonderful memories she made with us and traditions she imparted....

And enjoy making new ones with Lily.

One of those days

Well, I knew I was jinxing myself yesterday writing about Lily sleeping through the night.  Usually she stirs once or twice and I give her a pacifier and she goes right back to sleep.  Well, last night she stirred about six or seven times... she didn't want to eat, but just be rocked back to sleep.  She has been really congested and not breathing great through her nose, so I think she kept spitting out her pacifier, but then would want it back.

In any case, it was a long night... so of course that means the nanny is going to call in sick... and of course it's on a busy day I have a conference call, two meetings and lots of to-do's... and then of course as I am rushing around this morning trying to get things organized before I start working, Cocoa gets sick.

Flash forward a few hours, Lily slept through the conference call, I rescheduled the meetings, and here I sit working while Lily naps again. Life is good.  Just a little crazy somedays.

Catching up

I realized I never did an "official" post about Miss Lily's arrival.... it's impossible to catch up on four months in one post, but I will share some of the highlights.

Arrival: Lily Jane was born on July 28 at 9:22 p.m., so just about 2 and a half hours "early." Sometimes I still hesitate when I tell people her birthday, because she was due on July 29, so I had that date in my head constantly for so many months. She was 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was born after a long delivery that started with my water breaking at about 5 a.m.

Growth: Now, at four months, Lily is DOULBE what she was at her lowest weight (got down to 6 lb 9 oz and is now just about 14 pounds).  She eats about 5-6 breastmilk bottles a day, and is the 50th percentile for height, weight and head... a very proportioned baby!

Personality: Lily is a generally very happy baby, loves to smile and laugh, "stand' with mom and dad's help and be walked around so she can look at things, lights in particular!  She has always been very curious - she does not like being on her tummy, I think because she feels like she is missing out on seeing things. We are working on it and she gets better every day.

Sleep:  If you would have told me when Lily was ten days old that she would be sleeping through the night before I knew it, I wouldn't have believed it. But here we are, with her sleeping from about 8:30 p.m. to 7:30 a.m. I know how lucky we are, and I hope I am not jinxing things by putting this in writing! Her napping isn't quite as consistent, but we are working on this, too.

 

 

My thoughts on motherhood: I feel so lucky every day to be Lily's mom. The cliches are true - being a mom has changed me and made me truly understand what "unconditional love" is. I treasure each day with her and look forward to the next.

Well, there are about a million more things I could say about Lily, being a mom and everything I look forward to, but it will have to wait for another day, as work, life and Lily call!

Hobbies and a few resolutions

Lately I have been thinking a lot about hobbies. A lot of my loved ones have some wonderful, creative and productive hobbies - cooking/baking, art, photography, and handiwork, to name a few. I also think a lot about my mom and the wonderful things she left to remember her by - beautiful pillows, handmade ornaments, and so much more. It saddens me to think of all the wonderful mementos she would have made for Lily, and that I am so untalented in that area, but that's really another post for another day!

Thinking about all of this has inspired me to create some resolutions and ideas for using my time and talents to be productive and creative.

1. Write, write, write. I love writing and want to do it to ensure I don't forget the millions of memories we are creating with Lily everyday. That is why I hope and plan to write one blog post a week as well as a monthly letter to Lily. Honestly I would love it if people read this blog, but its worthwhile just as an outlet for me and hopefully something Lily can one day look back on and learn about herself and her mom.

2. Organize. Time is tight with a baby, full-time job and lots of weekends spent traveling for both personal and work. And it is easy to overspend on going out and picking up quick dinners. So I am working on creating a weekly meal planner and a binder of easy meal recipes, as well as a budget for our family. Can't exactly say this is creative, but is definitely productive and will hopefully give us opportunities to enjoy time together a little more and also allow us to save for vacations and maybe one of these days, a house we can call our own!

3. Exercise. I've been pretty good about walking, but it's cold now, so I need to do more indoor workouts and also hope to do a weekly yoga class starting in January. Need the "me" time and need to lose the last of the baby weight.

I also still want to find something creative I can do that won't stress me out or break the bank. Maggie suggested crocheting. I would also love to do something with stamped art, but that's definitely not an inexpensive hobby. I am going to keep thinking and looking for inspiration around me and am certainly open to any and all suggestions.